Jane at Levant: Dear Diary

Tuesday 18 January 2011

Dear Diary - must share

Dear diary - just look I am now the proud owner of a Samsung Galaxy phone - and look I can now access Purple Coo in any old place and completely waste time at my leisure - things are never going to be the same again - mind you it has taken me over a week to really get anywhere - and there is much room for improvement on my part- and oh dear the daily chores are getting further down the list of priorities - does it matter! - diary - please don't answer.

3 comments:

Molly18 January 2011 at 11:41
Coo there's posh Jane! MiC wants to know if B has worn the polish off his spade yet! Hope you're both keeping well xxx
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jane18 January 2011 at 12:57
What polish!

Take care you two xx
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Posie19 January 2011 at 02:38
Very fancy...unfortunately it is the kids in this house who have the super duper technology....my phone doesn't even take photos.......
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FAIRY -LED

The fairy people flouted me,
Mocked me ,shouted me
They chased me down the dreamy hill and beat me with a wand
Within the wood they found me ,put spells on me and bound me
And left me at the edge of day in John the miller's pond
Beneath the eerie starlight;
Their hair shone curd -white
Their bodies were all twisted like a lichened apple tree
Feather -light and swift they moved,
And never one they loved,
For all were full of dreams and dark designs on me.

With noise of leafy singing
And white wands swinging
They marched away amid the grass that swayed to let them through.
Between the the yellow tansies
Their eyes,like purple pansies,
Peered back on me before they passed all trackless in the dew.

Mary Webb - from the Spring of Joy

Three softly curved white sepals veined with light,

Three green-lined petals,guarding frugal gold,

And all so strong to fold or to unfold!

Snow thunders from the bending pines.How slight

This frail,sheathed stem! Yet all unbent it springs,

So swift in stoopings and recoverings.

In the pale sunshine,with frail wings unfurled,

Comes to the bending snowdrop the first bee.

She gives her winter honey prudently;

And faint with travel in a bitter world,

The bee makes music, tentative and low,

And spring awakes and laughs across the snow.

Mary Webb

Found on the Web Part One

Short Jokes of the day

Dress Code.

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Found on the web !! Part 2

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.